Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I Want My Money Back

What happens when you realize that your life is not at all the way you expected it to be?  When do you get past decisions you made that turned out to be wrong?  How do you move past the regrets and find happiness again?  Or do you just keep doing what you are doing even if it makes your stomach coil and your hair fall out?

I just want to start all over!

A few months ago, I took a new job that sounded so exciting and promising.  It was everything I was looking for in a career.

A few months into it...once I got passed the fluff and the brainwashing....I realized it was nothing like what was explained to me during the interview.  It is a position that requires constant new business development, cold-calling and a step up from a door to door salesman.  A job that I would have NEVER taken if I'd know the truth.

But, with a husband out of work and three kids that depend on me for food, shelter, health insurance and so forth, how do I walk away.  Everyday I wake up dreading the next day of work.  Everyday I try, TRY to be good at this job.  Everyday I cry as I continue to fail miserably.  It's not because I'm not smart enough or talented enough its just not fitting to my personality.  As much as I try, I cannot change my core and it's my core that makes this job impossible for me.

So what do you do now?

I'm on the hunt.  I'm looking for that perfect fit.  I do not want to make the same mistake and go from one bad job to another.  But I'm worried that I might just not have a job at all soon.  Then what??????