At 3am, I awoke. Unable to move, my body laid still until my mind caught up. From the top of my head to my toe nails, agonizing pain. I wanted to cry, but it hurt too much. I have to go to the bathroom. I didn't know how I was going to get there.
Slowly, I began to roll onto my side. It felt like eternity before I was able to sit up, then stand. I steadied myself to put one foot in front of the other. Across the room. I made it. I waited at the top of the stairs trying to muster the strength. With a deep breath I descended the stairs.
In the bathroom, I sat quietly processing the thoughts as they entered my mind.
It was just a dream.
I am fine. The baby is fine.
But if I didn't just go through a gruesome delivery, why am I in so much pain?
Maybe pain wasn't the right word. My body aches. Everywhere.
I grabbed a sip a water and climbed the stairs again. A few more hours of sleep until my week begins. A week that is crammed packed with chores, to do lists and activities. Sleep. I just need to sleep this off.
7am I awoke suddenly. I sprung out of bed. Or at least as much spring as a 7 1/2 month pregnant woman can muster. I rushed downstairs to start the coffee. Wasn't I supposed to have Chris to work by now?
By the time the coffee brewed, we were headed out the door. Still in my pajamas, I tried to focus my tired, achy eyes on the road. The traffic was insane. Work crews covered the one simple road required to enter his work. The tornado damage was unbelievable. Two detours and an hour and a half later, I am finally back home.
I ran for some tissues and allergy medicine. With the fierce rains and winds, something has been stirred up in the atmosphere. The sneezing is not helping this achyness.
My first project enters only moments after I return home. With smiles and giggles, my niece is here. The kids are off school today for an Easter holiday. I get a glimpse of what life will be like with four children.
When her momma leaves, the tears flow. She looks so sad and sleepy. I wonder if that's what I look like?
I cuddle her in my arms. She thrashes and squirms trying to break my hold. With one quick motion, the room is covered in vomit. I want to cry. But I don't. After a quick clean up of baby and bed, she is now ready to sleep, in my arms only. We snuggle into the couch. The kids play around us. I want to close my eyes, but I don't.
When her momma comes to get her, she is all smiles. She's ready to play.
I beg my kids to clean their rooms. I don't really care if they do. I just need for them to be occupied for a few minutes.
I sneak off to my bed and climb under the covers. It's only 10:30am, but I must sleep. Immediately, I drift off. For twenty minutes I am dead to the world.
It's now almost noon. I've accommplished nothing. I just want to stay in bed all day. But, I do not have that luxury.
Clean car for field trip tomorrow.
Shop for dress and shoes.
Make an instrument.
The bare minimum of what MUST get done.
But, I'm sick.
Pregnant and sick.
And it sucks.