Tuesday, March 15, 2011

End of Chaos

I see a light.  I glimmer of hope.  A sense of relief.  I've made it past the point in my bi-polar research that consumed our lives as detectives hunting for bi-polar related symptoms.  In my research only, not actually in life because that part really never goes away.  Yet, I feel this is now going to be manageable.

Chris and I are not the type of people to keep treating symptoms.  We need to solve the problem.  I do not want to go through life always be reactive.  If I can keep something from happening or becoming a problem then that is what I want to do.  Simplify.

I'm now learning about bi-polar triggers...things that can cause a person to lapse into the bi-polar state of mind.  Although there are so many triggers to consider, it doesn't feel as hopeless.  It's exciting to discover, reduce and eliminate the triggers of his bi-polar symptoms.  We can take control instead of letting it control us!  I never thought I'd say I was excited about anything related to bi-polar, but I am!  I know this means lifestyle changes but I'm excited about how amazing our life will be once these changes are made.  It reminds me of a favorite quote, "You can't change one part of your life without changing it all." 

To know that through small changes in our behavior, routines, diet, or whatever will cause Chris less pain and mental anguish....how could I not be excited.

One of the most enlightening things I've learned this week about bi-polar is that it thrives on chaos.  Eliminating or reducing chaos is the first step in keeping bi-polar symptoms in check.  This, THIS! I can do.  I hate chaos.  I live for routine and structure.  Drama is ridiculous and causes dysfunction.  For Chris, his head is always a chaotic mess.  With the right medication, I hope that will improve.  In the meantime, I can help reduce tension and triggers by keeping things at home as organized and simple as possible.  As meaningless as my "at home" responsibilities seem to me at times, they are vital in his treatment.  Knowing exactly where to go for a dress shirt and tie and having a clean organized place to relax is just the beginning.

There are so many triggers that could or could not be hazardous to his mood and now we just have to figure out what they are.

He met with is counselor again today and seemed genuinely happy with the progress they are making.  He scheduled his next appointment on his own for two weeks out.