The Yard that Ate the Children

Christopher:

For the love of all things holy, please, please, please do something, ANYTHING to improve the appearance of our yard. We have long lost the competition with the neighbors to see who could cut their grass the shortest. We are one inch short of officially being named hoosiers by all of our neighbors. Including the ones we have already identified as hoosiers. We live next to the Mayor. If you do not rectify this situation immediately we will be violating city ordinances. The Mayor is not afraid of us or our jungle.

Our Yard...Hasn't been cut since 8/1/06

I know you have been swamped with work, and I appreciate your dedication to that which increases the well-being of our family. Speaking of our family, I lost two of our children today when they went outside to play. That is not good for our "well-being".

Wanna play hide and seek? Just lay down in the grass and see if Mom can find us.

Don't even get me started on the mesquitos. And WEST NILE. A case has been diagnosed in OUR NEIGHBORHOOD! Now I'm terrified to let our children play in the backyard which leads to them messing up the clean house and making mamma ANGRY. Nobody likes it when mamma's angry.

I know instead of sitting here writing you I could go out and cut the grass myself. However, it is much easier sitting at the computer with one child on my lap, another attached to my ankle and the third screaming "Mom, did you see that? Look at this! Watch what I can do!"

So, in your spare time this week (before work, after work, lunch time or this weekend) please save us from the clutches of the evil grass mongrols. Weedeat around the lawnmower and return our status on the block back to the "young couple with a lot of kids" rather than the "hoosiers with a lot of kids."

The last place the mower was left.

Thank you!

Your wife.