Mental Nesting

I haven’t been getting much sleep.

It’s not for a lack of trying.

There must be at least two million to-do lists running through my head at any given time. As soon as I check something off, more is added.

These thoughts keep coming.

Morning. Noon. And Night.

Obsessively filling every pocket of mental space.

I’m creating an emergency plan. An “in my absence this is how we function,” type arrangement.

Chris is perfectly capable of running the household while I am away. He will do a great job at it, too. Of this I am certain.

And, it’s not like I’m leaving on a month long vacation.

I’m having a baby.

But Chris is taking time off work. The first consecutive days he’s taken off in almost a year. It is his vacation time.

I don’t want him to worry about laundry and groceries and bills. I want him to enjoy his break. And I want the kids to be able to enjoy it with him.

Yet, I feel like if I don’t have a plan, then they won’t know where to start. It’s not easy to switch from full-time worker to stay at home dad…even if just for a few days.

So, I’ve been cleaning. Stocking the house with food. Compulsively doing laundry. And making mental lists.

I rest when my body aches (which is often).

But my mind, I cannot shut down.