Yes, yes...we are expecting baby number 4. Estimated due date is late June. It has taken me awhile to wrap my head around this. Although the first three babies were all a surprise, this time it shocked me to the core. Our family just felt complete with the five of us. Eva is the perfect last child, and I had already started to dream about the freedom Chris and I would soon have as a couple. Grace is quickly approaching babysitting age and Eva would be in school full time by next September. I could finally figure out how best to use my talents and contribute to our household income. Then WHAM! that darn plus sign showed up on a stick.
Really, the only reason I took the test was to ease my mind because I knew I really wasn't pregnant. Sure, it was two weeks past my expected period. But, given the degree to which I had been working out over the last couple months, I figured that was what threw off my monthly visitor.
As a was showering at the gym that Monday morning, I started gagging uncontrollably and noticed that the bathroom reaked of urine. It was clean and not once had I noticed it smelling bad in the months I had been there. I decided that maybe instead of going home, I would stop by Walgreens and grab a pregnancy test. Just to ease my mind. I came home, made lunch and put Eva down for a nap. I grabbed the box and peed on the stick. Before I could even finish pulling up my pants, a plus sign started to appear.
I promptly freaked the hell out. Hyberventilating, I called Chris but did not get an answer. I paced the house. I stared at the test. I google searched false pregnancy tests. I freaked out some more.
As soon as Eva woke up, I headed back to the store and bought three more tests. Surely, the first one had to be a fluke. We weren't planning to have any more children. This was all a mistake.
Four tests and four plus signs later, I finally uttered the words, "I'm pregnant."
That night, my sister babysat the kids and Chris took me out to dinner. Although I cried through most of it, I somehow knew we were going to be okay. Over the last week, I had tears in my eyes more than they have been dry. Part of me knows it is still shock and part of me wants to blame it on my hormones.
Today I went to the free clinic for an official test. Because our insurance is private not group, I had to submit official documentation before they would cover pregnancy. My first appointment with my OB-Gyn is set for November 29th. Right now we are estimating that I'm about 6 weeks along.
And right on cue, the nausea, fatigue and headaches have kicked in. Since all I can think about is trying not to throw up and when I can take my next nap, excitement has not been in the cards. Although, once this craptastic first trimester winds to an end, I know I will be beaming with joy.
Another squishy, lovey, baby is on the way!